So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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