Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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