ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
