just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
