Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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