She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
