dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
