if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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