i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
