We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
