You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
