An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize