If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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