rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
