Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
