Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
