please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
