I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
