I should be sponsored by Trojan
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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