id be glad to
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Randomize
