Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
