On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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