You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
