I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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