my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
