why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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