a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
