Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
