I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he thought i was a dude.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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