is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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