Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
