Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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