I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
