yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I party with great urgency now.
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