I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
