She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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