I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
