He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
