Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
