Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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