no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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