I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
