im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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