That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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