Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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