watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
