your room smells of hookers.
And success
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
