Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
