that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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