I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
pop tarts are not kleenex
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
