they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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