I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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