He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
