Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
