What a fucking waste of an outfit
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
