This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
