this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
