Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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