You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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