wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
